If I Die Young
by The Insane Fox
Summary: Axel is worried about Roxas after the death of his sister.  Will Roxas come to terms with his grief or just snap?  Based on the song by The Band Perry.


**A/N—**So, I'm far from satisfied with this piece. This was something I started way back over the summer, then got distracted by stupid college once that started again, forgot about it, then lost the original when my laptop decided to crash on me. Nearly eight months later, I have a new laptop but had to completely rewrite this and basically ended up sort of forcing it towards the end. Anywho, here we go. This is entirely self-edited so please ignore any mistakes I may have missed.

**Disclaimer— **Anything and everything Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy related belongs to Squeenix and the song belongs to The Band Perry.

Anyway, enjoy, R & R!

Roxas watched as the last of the guests left, finally leaving him alone for the first time in weeks. One by one, the cars filed out of the cemetery, leaving the blonde standing on the hill as the sun began its descent. Once he was sure the last one had disappeared through the front gate, he turned to see the grave diggers begin to fill in the hole that now housed his beloved twin sister in her final resting place.

Walking over to the edge, he nodded to one of the diggers before pulling out a single white rose and dropping it on top of the casket. Although other flowers had been placed in the grave, none of them had been her favorite white roses. Guiltily, Roxas looked at the lone flower. Naminé had always been so frail and sickly, and thus Roxas had seen this day coming for a long time. She had such grand plans for her own funeral, but unfortunately Roxas couldn't keep them all. He remembered her telling him how she wanted to be buried in a bed of roses, and then sent down the river while her favorite, disgustingly sappy love ballad played. And while Roxas would have loved nothing more than to fulfill his sister's final wishes, roses were expensive. And once he had looked at all the bills from the hospital Naminé had accumulated over the years, he knew it just wouldn't be possible. As it was, Roxas had had to drop out of college to take care of her after his freshman year when their mother passed away and it was only the two of them. As for being sent down the river…well, the local environmental groups hadn't taken too kindly to that, and it was illegal anyway due to water contamination or something of the sort.

Now, Roxas watched as the grave diggers placed the last bit of dirt on the grave before giving him sympathetic looks and walking away to give him his privacy. Pulling off his suit jacket and loosening his damn tie, Roxas walked over and sank down next to the headstone that was beautifully carved with angel's wings and a simple engraving. Turning his face into the warm, later summer breeze, Roxas watched as the sun painted the sky brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow. He simply sat there for several minutes, watching the sunset and thinking of Naminé. Finally, he let out an exhausted sigh.

"I'm so sorry, Nam. There was so much you wanted to do and your life was so cruelly taken away from you at such a young age. The least I could have done was given you the funeral you deserved, but I couldn't even do that. I'm such a failure as a brother. I just hope you can forgive me. The last thing I want is for you to be stuck in purgatory or whatever because I was such a jackass."

Roxas was met by a moment of silence before a male voice came from behind him. "She wouldn't be upset, you know. Naminé knew how much you gave up for her. She didn't love you any less for it and she sure as hell won't hold it against you in the afterlife."

Jumping to his feet in shock, Roxas turned around to be met by a pair of sad, malachite eyes. Roxas hadn't heard him coming, let alone seen him with his bright red hair blending into the sky like that. Standing there with a hand in his pocket and jacket thrown over his shoulder, Axel couldn't help but look forlornly at the blonde boy before him.

"Axel, I thought you had gone home already!" Roxas finally managed to gather enough brain function to form a sentence.

The red head shrugged, walking over to stand before Roxas. "I couldn't just leave you here after everything that's happened. It wouldn't be right, you know? Anyway, why don't you come home and I'll make your favorite dinner. Sound good?"

"Actually, no. You're cooking is hazardous to my health and I'm pretty sure last time you tried to cook dinner for us, you lost patience and nearly burned the kitchen down when you thought it would be a good idea to take a lighter directly to the food," Roxas shuddered at the memory. "Besides, I think everyone's given me enough food to hold us over the next few months."

Smirking, Axel pulled his hand free of his pocket before wrapping the arm around the smaller boy's shoulders. "Sounds good to me, Rox. C'mon, the car is parked at the bottom of the hill."

Leaning into Axel's embrace, Roxas spared his sister's grave one last glance before making his descent down the hill.

* * *

Roxas groaned as he watched Axel take away his dishes while sitting in their kitchen later that night. He hadn't been kidding about the food—once word had gotten out of Naminé's passing, the whole community had taken it upon themselves to make Roxas enough food to last him for a big chunk of his grieving period. Although he insisted it was unnecessary, the church he attended until he was about seven had set up a schedule for the parish members to bring Roxas at least one hot meal a day. Slumping over in his chair, Roxas let his head slam a little harder than necessary into the cheap plywood of the table.

"I don't like the sound of that," Axel chuckled from his spot of washing dishes over the kitchen sink. "It's not like you can afford to lose any more brain cells."

The blonde wordlessly flipped Axel off without moving his head from its spot on the table.

Roxas hadn't even heard the water shutting off before he felt the weight of Axel's hand on his shoulder. The voice that followed was soft, very unusual for the vibrant fire crotch. "Hey, you ok? It's been a week and you haven't cried. I'm worried about you, Rox."

The blonde grunted in response. "Well, don't be. We all knew this day was coming. I did my crying over the years she was sick before I finally made my peace with it. I know that sounds awful, but Naminé had come to terms with her impending death a long time ago, and so did I."

An awkward silence followed after that. Axel knew Roxas was lying, but he honestly didn't know what to say to the younger man. Said blonde was simply enjoying the quiet since it was something he hadn't gotten a lot of as of late. Neither man spoke for quite some time, until Roxas lifted himself up from the table before stumbling into the bathroom, mumbling something about a shower before bed.

When Roxas wandered into the bedroom ten minutes later clothed in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist, Axel was already sprawled out on the bed waiting for him. Just as Roxas bent over to pull a pair of clean boxers from his dresser, the redhead growled, "Don't."

Turning his head towards his lover, blue eyes narrowed dangerously as they met malachite. "I'm really not in the mood right now, Ax."

"Bullshit," came the reply. "Now get your cute little ass over here before I have to force you."

Sighing in resignation, Roxas crawled over to where his boyfriend lay, albeit slowly and not with a very seductive swing to his hips as he would have in normal circumstances. Instead, he settled for collapsing on top of the comforter as he curled up into Axel's toned, narrow chest.

The blonde felt hot breath tickling his ear as Axel gathered the smaller boy in his tight embrace. "Babe, please understand I'm just worried about you. Everyone is. Hell, Reno hasn't stopped calling me every five minutes to check up on you. Sora's been in a daze since he lost one of his favorite cousins and is worried sick about the one still alive. Even Riku's been worried, and that guy doesn't give a damn about anyone besides himself or Sora."

Not wanting to think about his friends and family, or most importantly, Naminé, anymore, Roxas suddenly surged upwards and sealed the redhead's lips with his own. When Axel opened his mouth to protest, Roxas took the opportunity to force his tongue inside the hot cavern. The redhead could have easily over powered the smaller blonde if he truly wished, but decided instead to give in and respond to the kiss in full.

Within minutes, the kiss became more heated. Fingers entangled in hair, began roaming over chests, tweaking hard pink nipples. Somehow, without either of them realizing it had happened, Roxas' towel had been discarded across the room, quickly followed by Axel's shirt, pants, and boxers.

The blonde then took the opening to start trailing hot kisses down Axel's neck, nipping and licking as he made his way down a toned chest, traveling further until reaching the older man's erect cock. Without hesitation, Roxas took him fully in his mouth, swallowing as much as he could without choking.

A strangled gasp escaped Axel's lips as Roxas began deep throating him without any warning. Malachite eyes rolled heavenward as a strong, pink tongue began running along the base, up to the tip and along the slit before working its way back down. Head bobbing, Roxas made quick work of Axel and within minutes the redhead was screaming his boyfriend's name.

"Sh-shit, Rox. Where the fuck did that come from?"

Licking the sticky white substance from his lips, Roxas leaned over to grab something from the drawer in the bedside table. He returned with a small bottle of lube, the scent of coconut filling the room as Roxas poured a liberal amount into his hands before grasping Axel's quickly hardening length. Squeezing harshly, the blonde began to run his hands along Axel's cock until it was once again fully hard. Then, without any preparation or warning, Roxas straddled the older man before impaling himself on Axel.

"What the fuck, Rox?" Axel all but squeaked once he realized what had happened.

"Axel, for the love of God, just shut up and fuck me already," came the harsh growl.

Before Axel could protest further, Roxas raised himself up until only the tip was left inside him before harshly slamming down once again. At first, Axel continued to resist, knowing how stupid the younger boy was being. But within minutes, the redhead caved and began raising his hips to meet Roxas every time he slammed down again, groaning as he finally gave in to the pleasure. Blindly groping between them, Axel finally found Roxas' neglected length and began pumping in time with the rhythm they had set. Groaning, Roxas began to post faster, riding Axel even harder than he already was. It wasn't long before he felt that familiar white hot feeling pooling in his lower abdomen.

"Ungggh, fuck, Axellll," was the only warning the older man got before ocean blue eyes rolled backwards as he came long and hard, spilling his seed all over his and Axel's stomachs.

It took less than a minute for Axel to meet his climax after that, feeling Roxas' walls clenching tightly around his own hard length as the younger boy came for him. With a final grunt and one last hard thrust, Axel filled Roxas with his own seed. Exhausted, the two lovers collapsed on the bed, passing out in each other's arms.

* * *

Cerulean blue eyes fluttered open only to be met by nothing but white. Groggily, the young blonde pushed himself into a kneeling position, trying in vain to rub the sleep from his eyes. Wondering vaguely how he was suddenly clothed again, he managed to murmur "Axel? Where the hell did you go?" through a rather large yawn.

"He's not here, Roxas. It's just us." Came the familiar female voice.

Roxas felt his response die on his lips as his heart felt it might stop at any given moment. "What…Naminé? Nam, is that really you?"

Appearing from behind a white pillar Roxas hadn't even been aware of, the delicate blonde girl stepped forth. Almost identical to Roxas in every way but sex, the young girl walked towards her brother, clad in a small white dressed that only washed out her already pale features. When all the boy could do was stand there and stare stupidly, Naminé rolled her own cerulean orbs before nearly strangling Roxas in a tight hug.

"I-I don't-understand. What the hell is going on?" the boy murmured before hesitantly returning the embrace. "I thought you had died."

Suddenly stepping back from the loving hug, Naminé sadly met the eyes identical to her own. "I am dead, Roxas. But I came back to speak with you one last time. I don't have very long, it will be dawn soon and you'll wake up. I can only communicate with you via your dreams, so we have to make this fast."

A moment passed in silence before Roxas fell to his knees, arms snaking out to wrap around Naminé's slender waist. "I'm so sorry!" he cried before anything else could even be said.

Gently, in an almost mother-like fashion, the younger twin ran her fingers through her brother's mess of blonde spikes. "For what? Roxas, you've done nothing wrong. I only came back to say goodbye one last time."

"B-but I couldn't carry out your last wish! I couldn't give you the damn funeral you wanted! I failed you as a brother!" the male blonde choked, on the verge of bursting into tears in a manner he wouldn't consider very macho of himself.

Another silent moment. Still continuing her gentle strokes through his hair, Naminé leaned forward to place a loving kiss atop the crown of his head. "Oh, Roxas. You did the best you could. That's all that matters. I still love you, no matter what."

Neither sibling spoke for a long time after this, nor did they move from their position. Roxas just needed to feel his sister physically, remind himself that she was, in fact, standing before him. For her part, Naminé let Roxas cling to her like a lifeline. It was like when they were children again, when the twins would cling to each other because their mother never paid any attention to them so instead they sought comfort in each other. When the kids at school would pick on them; Naminé because she was so frail and a complete pushover, Roxas because he was small and almost effeminate in stature, and later on because he was gay. They were all each other had. And now, Roxas didn't even have his sister.

"Penny for your thoughts?" came Naminé's gentle voice. "I wasn't kidding when I said I don't have long, Rox."

At this, Roxas chuckled a little. It may have been a little inappropriate, but it made him feel better none the less. "Nah. Make it a dollar and we'll talk."

"You always were a pain in the ass," his sister giggled softly. "But you know, it's ok to cry. I know you've been holding back, whether it's because you're embarrassed or you're just too stubborn for your own good I don't know, though. Axel really does love you, and he won't judge you for it. He knows you're mourning me and he just wants to be there for you more than anything."

"I'm so sick of crying though," the male blonde sighed, rising to his feet but still clinging to his baby sister as if she would disappear if he let go. "I just want you back."

"But I'm never coming back, Roxas. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better. Please, don't let me leave this world without the closure of knowing you're alright," there was almost a pleading tone to Naminé's voice.

With a sigh, Roxas finally let go of his sister. Leaning over to give her one last kiss on the forehead, he whispered. "How will I know you've made it safely to Heaven?"

At this, Naminé broke out in a goofy grin that almost rivaled Sora's in its sheer ridiculousness. "How about a big, beautiful rainbow?"

For a moment, Roxas just blinked owlishly before he burst out into a loud fit of laughter. Clutching his sides, Roxas had to put a hand on the younger blonde's shoulders to keep himself from falling over. "A RAINBOW, Nam? Seriously? I'm gay, and I'm telling you that is the gayest idea I have ever heard."

A scowl fell on Naminé's pretty face at this comment. "Don't say that! I've always loved rainbows! I only wish I got to see a few more while I was alive."

Finally, Roxas straightened himself up before pulling Naminé into a crush embrace. "OK, Nam. A rainbow it is. When I look up at the sky and see those big, bright, obnoxious colors, I'll know you're alright. It's a deal."

"Thank you, Roxas. I love you," were the last words the older blonde heard before everything went blank.

* * *

"NAMINÉ!" Roxas was screaming when he came to.

The blonde boy didn't know where he was for a minute, dazed with blurry vision. He was thrashing and trying to break free, but something strong was physically holding him back. Although he knew it should have been something obvious, the signs were just not quite coming together yet in his frazzled mind.

"Roxas! Babe, snap out of it! You're alright, just calm down!" the familiar male voice snapped.

And suddenly, everything came crashing down around Roxas. The barrier keeping him from thrashing out was none other than Axel's arms wrapped desperately around him. The redhead was hovering above Roxas, malachite eyes swimming with worry. Finally calmed down, Roxas reached up to rub his azure eyes, hoping to fix the blurry vision. What he met, however, were wet, clear rivulets running down his face. Confused, the blonde pulled his wet fingers away to examine them more closely. Then, realization hit. He had been crying, apparently in some unconscious state while Axel held him tight, whispering comforting nothings in his ear.

Finally, everything hit him all at once. All the emotions he'd been holding back for over a week came bursting out to the surface all at once as Roxas wept loudly and uncontrollably while Axel clung to him. It felt like hours that the two lay there, Axel worried sick and relieved all at once. On the other hand, Roxas became frustrated with all his tears. He never knew he could have so many feelings all at once, and that just pissed him off even more and just continued the incessant waterworks. Then, just as suddenly as it had all started, he was done.

"Are you ok now?" Axel asked hesitantly, holding his younger lover out just far enough to examine his face. "You scared the shit out of me, man."

"Yeah," Roxas said after a brief hesitation. "I'm ok now. I spoke to her last night, in my dream. I think we can both move on peacefully now."

"I'm glad to hear that," Axel sighed in relief before placing a quick kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "You and Nam both deserve it."

It was then that Roxas looked out their bedroom window into the early morning sky. The sun had only just started to rise, and a light fog was beginning to lift. "Beautiful, isn't it, Axel?" he sighed, leaning back against the redhead's chest.

The taller man chuckled softly, pulling Roxas closer into his chest as he looked out with him. "Sure is, Rox. Been a while since we've watched the sunrise together like this. And hey, there's even a rainbow!"

Blue eyes widened, jumping up to the window sill and looking around frantically. "Where?" he cried.

"Uhh, in the sky, where it should be. Hey, Rox, are you sure you're ok? You always complain about how stupid rainbows are. Why the sudden excitement?"

Sure enough, Roxas saw a large, bowing rainbow just over the horizon. A bittersweet warmth filled his chest then, a soft smile playing on the blonde's lips. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking maybe rainbows aren't so bad after all."

Scratching his head, Axel shrugged before standing and pulling on a pair of sweatpants. "If you say so, Rox. Since we're up anyway, wanna take a quick shower and maybe go grab some breakfast?"

Roxas turned to face Axel before nodding in agreement. "Sounds perfect, babe. Let's go."


End file.
